Decoding Dreams

There was a stretch of time—almost two years—where I had nothing but nightmares.

Not occasionally.
Not here and there.

Every night felt like entering something heavy. Disorienting. Sometimes vivid enough that I would wake up already carrying the emotion before I could even remember what had happened.

I’ve thought about that period a lot.

What my mind was trying to process.
What was surfacing that didn’t have space during the day.
What my body was holding onto in a way I couldn’t fully access while I was awake.

There are explanations, of course. Heightened emotional processing, unresolved stress, the brain working through intensity during REM sleep. The amygdala becomes more active during dreaming, which can amplify fear and emotional tone. It would make sense that if something in my life felt unstable or overwhelming, it would find its way into that space.

But even with all of that, there’s a limit to how much can be explained.

I can come close to understanding it.
I can trace patterns, make connections, find meaning in pieces of it.